Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Peaceful parenting...... I try
For about the past six weeks I have felt like I am drowning. Everything seemed to be up the creek! I don't know if it was an end of year thing, a Christmas thing, that the Mr was on holidays and our house is packed with people thing or something else. I have been waking up as tired as I went to sleep. I haven't has the energy for doing things I would always do - and my house resembles those trashed houses that you would see on currant affairs programs...
About three weeks ago I smacked the madam, it wasn't hard, but I had got to the end of my rope. She was throwing a tantrum about something and I just lost it. When I get mad I don't really yell, scream or such - I am a quiet one - I slam doors though!
I smacked her, I cried - she has held me accountable ever since. ( This is also probably the second time I have smacked her in my life!)
This has probably been my greatest lesson in accountability......since that happened the madam has proceeded to tell anyone who would listen (including the in - laws) how I smacked her and now I will go to jail! (I don't know where that came from!) I have never felt more guilty or embarrassed by a single action in my life.
On the flip side though.....
It did teach me about accountability and that even though she is "just a child" she is a walking, talking, feeling, heart beating, being and I think I need to remember that....I know kids need boundaries and discipline.....but I have, and am trying much harder, to do that in a peaceful parenting sort of way.
I have definitely found that since this all happened I have become more conscious of how I interact with the madam. I have always tried to do this but I think when you feel like you want to curl up in the foetal position and cry for hours peaceful parenting takes a back seat.
I seem to have got myself out of my funk and we are definitely doing better now. I have found by doing more talking and listening (equal on both sides!) she seems to be a little less ' princess tantrum' and a little more 'free spirit' which is what we have always been. I don't know what it was but I have pretty much talked myself into positivity which seems to have worked so far. Funny how even the smallest of people can change you ways.
Now I am off to deal with the house.......