Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Peaceful parenting...... I try

For about the past six weeks I have felt like I am drowning. Everything seemed to be up the creek! I don't know if it was an end of year thing, a Christmas thing, that the Mr was on holidays and our house is packed with people thing or something else. I have been waking up as tired as I went to sleep. I haven't has the energy for doing things I would always do - and my house resembles those trashed houses that you would see on currant affairs programs...

About three weeks ago I smacked the madam, it wasn't hard, but I had got to the end of my rope. She was throwing a tantrum about something and I just lost it. When I get mad I don't really yell, scream or such - I am a quiet one - I slam doors though!
I smacked her, I cried - she has held me accountable ever since. ( This is also probably the second time I have smacked her in my life!)

This has probably been my greatest lesson in accountability......since that happened the madam has proceeded to tell anyone who would listen (including the in - laws) how I smacked her and now I will go to jail! (I don't know where that came from!) I have never felt more guilty or embarrassed by a single action in my life.

On the flip side though.....

It did teach me about accountability and that even though she is "just a child" she is a walking, talking, feeling, heart beating, being and I think I need to remember that....I know kids need boundaries and discipline.....but I have, and am trying much harder, to do that in a peaceful parenting sort of way.

I have definitely found that since this all happened I have become more conscious of how I interact with the madam. I have always tried to do this but I think when you feel like you want to curl up in the foetal position and cry for hours peaceful parenting takes a back seat.

I seem to have got myself out of my funk and we are definitely doing better now. I have found by doing more talking and listening (equal on both sides!) she seems to be a little less ' princess tantrum' and a little more 'free spirit' which is what we have always been. I don't know what it was but I have pretty much talked myself into positivity which seems to have worked so far. Funny how even the smallest of people can change you ways.

Now I am off to deal with the house.......

1 comment:

Claire (ethel loves fred) said...

Oh I so remember this feeling, when Little P was on the cusp of turning 5 her boundary pushing intensified. She was pushing every day, I was tethered. The only thing that worked for me was the 'naughty chair' and some house rules stuck on the fridge, any breaking of those rules resulted in time on the chair. We only needed to to it for about 2 weeks, but it worked.