Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I do....or maybe I shouldn't

I am not sure why I have been thinking about it, maybe because I have read quite a few things recently about marriage and/or the lack there of. Or maybe it is because a few people have mentioned it or asked me. The Mr and I have been together five and a half years. We have been engaged for four and half years. We will get married, I guess, but it doesn't particularly bother me.

The Mr has been married before and I never really thought I would get married. Until I met him I didn't actually ever consider a long term relationship. So yes a long term relationship, being a stay at home mum and a three year old were not exactly in my plan.

I don't think I have an aversion to marriage - although we are having a Mexican stand off over the fact I wont change my name - I am just not sure wether it should happen. I like the idea but when I look at it realistically - will it change anything? Do people move from long term relationships to marriage and is it better or does it all fall in a heap? Does it really make a difference to kids?

What do you lovelies think? Is marriage past it's use by date, is it not economically viable or have we lost the ceremony and romance from our relationships.


Susan Erickson said...

I felt much the same as you...didn't change my name, finally got married for tax purposes....I was young and 27 years later...I have a different viewpoint. We are still married...still soul mates. I wish I had the same name as my husband and son now. Sometimes our fierce independance stifles our ability to commit. Commitment is what it's all about and changing so everybody has the same name shows commitment.

Corinne said...

For us, it was a natural progression of things.
Or at least, at the time that's what it felt like. But looking back I know I put pressure on us to get married. And I'm not really sure why. Yes, marriage is wonderful and incredible, and a lot of work, but that's the same as any relationship.
I'm up in the air about it, which is funny... since I'm married and all ;)

Justine said...

When I found out I was pregnant I screamed "we gotta get married!!!" I don't frown upon 'unwed mothers' I just did not want to be one myself LOL ~ so crazy and I blame pregnancy hormones!!! We had been together 6 yrs and we were engaged but just had not 'got round to it'. To be honest Katy if you can survive having a child together, marriage is a walk in the park. We did feel that it made things a little more 'special' BUT we both hate to conform so I took his name just because it was easier. I still feel when someone asks for Mrs ..... that they are asking for his mum LOL : )