Friday, April 1, 2011

Why I didn't want to be the last one at the party!




                                               This picture from this fab site

I'm a housewife/stay at home mum....on that part in forms where you tick what you do for a living I tick that square that says 'home duties'.  I have been ticking that box for almost five years now and I love it.  I actually love what I do.  Sure the hours are extensive, the pay is crappy (unless you count sex as payment for a job well done as according to the Mr!) and the Christmas party is questionable but it is a a great job.

It has taken me a while to be comfortable with it, I'm not always sure I am, but I'm getting there. See I was and , contrary to common belief, am a  feminist.  I am a full on, lefty, hippy, "femo nazi" (yes someone actually used those words on me) and I am a housewife.  It's taken me a while to figure out how to combine everything into one role, into my life, but I think it comes down to one thing.....

I do what I do because I love it...not because of circumstance, other people, influence or anything else.  I am lucky enough to have a partner that supports me ( and is still my favourite person to hang with) being at home with the madam and that also allows me to pursue a few 'creative' avenues at the same time. 

I also try (yes try being the word!) to approach it in a similar way that I would any daily job.  Sure I have a fair amount of flexibility and I am not the most organised person but I have certain things to check of my list, goals to achieve and timeline to (yes try) stick to.

For a good ten years of my life I partied.  I partied hard.  It was a fantastic time with fantastic people. Yes...the 'what happened in Vegas stays in Vegas' rule applies to that time of my life.  I don't regret a second of it and yes at time I do miss it.  When I'm  am up at odd hours with a sick four year old, trying to figure out how to pay the bills and planning weekend birthday parties/menus I do sometimes think that getting all dressed up and going out to mainline cocktails with dirty names and meet lovely men who look so much better after said cocktails would be good but....

A friend, who also happens to be a very smart friend, once said to me 'you never want to be the last one at the party trying to drink the dregs out of the champagne bottle'.  So I changed it up.  I never had plans to be in a relationship, I actually did not think I could have children and I was never going to be a stay at home mum but I went with the flow of things and this is where I am.  Change is good .  It's been six years since I met the Mr, four and a half since I had the Madam.  don't get me wrong....I still love to party it just takes a different form these days.  Instead of holding up a bar and paying way too much for drinks it's usually wine and platters on the veranda or a BIG night out if babysitters allow. The one thing is, if you are open to it, change can often bring different people into your life and my social circle now has a fairly eclectic range of people and I hope that continues.

I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, I know everyone's different and I think it's just human nature to have an opinion about how others live and/or work.  I also don't think because you are a stay at home mum, a housewife or work from home you are immediately 'under the thumb', repressed or have lost all chance of 'having a life'....if it works for you then that's all that matters. 

What I do works for me, it works for my family....I'm not one for hanging onto the past, I don't feel the need to relive my late teens/early twenties...the memories make me smile but now the wine is so much better!

3 comments:

Lady Estrogen said...

I have a friend that still parties hard on weekends - I'm on the fence - 1/2 envies her cuz I know I wouldn't survive it - and the other 1/2 of me thinks "is that STILL fun for you?" Wow! You're right though, whatever works :)

Jessica said...

Whatever works for you ig going to be right.And I thought being a femminist was about making sure women actually have choices, and are able to do what makes them happy.Housewife is still a choice and a valid one at that:)

Gillian aka Silly Gilly said...

Katy, if I copied and pasted that whole blog post, it would be wholly correct for me and my blog.
Dang! We are exactly in the same boat. And I'm going through a revamp of where I'm at right now with the whole 'make me a more organised housewife/stay at home mum', 'it's a job' thing too.
Good on us. We have such a delicious amount of freedom. We are lucky, lucky souls. Enjoy.